IIIIIIII'''''''''MMMMMMM BACK!!!

So it really has been quite some time since I have blogged on here.. but I am back.. I needed to just take some time and get some stuff done.

So let's see to get this up to date.. I started Fall semester of school on August 26th.. I am taking 17 credits.. which is very overwhelming.. I no longer work on Friday's as I am going to classes from noon until 10 pm.. I am still loving hair school.. I am on the barbering (men's) side again. I can't believe that I only have one more year left and then I will be graduating with my Associates in Applied Science, and will be able to get my license for barbering and cosmetology.

I have had some wake up calls latetly that are making me re-analyze my life.. I have realized that I have been disconnected from everyone for soo long.. that I really don't know those that I work with that well, or the girls from hair school that well.. Although on the other hand I am realizing that people are not who I thought of them to be.. take it as you will being more good or bad than I ever expected.

I know that I am in an industry that is very superficial, and with girls that are blessed or cursed with the gift a gab.. I am beginning to think that women never grow out of the gossiping faze.. especially in the hair business. So I am learning who I can and can not trust to keep things to themselves.. it is a hard lesson.. and I am learning slowly but surely.. it makes me sad when some of the cute girls at school don't end up being as good of a friend as I thought that they would be.

I know that I have truly been blessed in my life to have or had some amazing friends in my life that have done so much for me.. I just wish that we all had more time to spend time together, but life is just crazy busy for everyone right now.. It's life.. what else can I say.

So life is good.. I am getting things back in order and on track.. finally.. I have returned to church, and I am paying my tithing and fast offerings.. I know that I am truly being blessed, and I am so thankful for our Heavenly Father and his UNCONDITIONAL love that just truly amazes me, and also for repentence.. I know that it is a long run back, but at least I have taken the first few steps.. I am really hoping to get my temple recommend back and active.. I miss going to the temple and feeling of the peace and serenity, but I am working on it.

well I think this is enough for now.. xoxoxo Sherry

Have you ever?

Have you ever just work up one day and wondered if this is it? this is your life? This is all that you have become.. through it all.. this is it? I know.. I am in such a weird thinking mood today.. like most days.. I usually keep it all in my head.. but I just need to get it all out.. ever had days like that? Did you ever think that you would be who you are, and where you are 10 years ago today? I know that I sure didn't.. yeah some things have made me stronger in the long run.. and some have just broke me down and closed me off from everyone.. Do you ever recover? I have realized this weekend that I will never be the same naive, and open person that I was years ago. I also realized this weekend that I have built up so many barriers, and that I am just soo closed off to the outside world.. I just live in a bubble so to say.. It's nice and protected.. a little too protected. I have been seriously thinking and wondering what I really want out of this life.. I have been alone for so long.. I am not even sure that I can let someone else in even if I wanted to.. I should also get an Oscar for my acting.. acting.. everyone does it.. Do we ever really know what the other person is thinking, feeling??? Why are we so afraid to show people who we really are? that we are broken, hurt, confused, lost, and feel beyond hope?? I am sure that most of the others around you feel the same way in one way or another.. They all look like they have it so together, and they are so happy.. but deep down inside are they? I wish that I was as happy as I used to be, that I was open to new things, and new people without any fear.. How would it be.. What would I do if I wasn't afraid anymore? What would alot of people do without their fears? Well now that I think I have even more questions spinning in my head than before.. I better get going.. Maybe someday I will not be so lost in my head, and I will be free.. to not be afraid anymore.. to not fear the pain of letting someone else in.. who knows??

ScReAm AlReAdY!!!!!

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! just needed to scream already.. I am so frustrated!!!! It's only the second week of the summer semester.. and they have changed soooo much at school.. I am not sure that I like or can keep up with all the changes.. first of all our main instructor over nights is leaving us for Canyon School District after 19 years.. not sure why she would want to go back to the high school students.. I would personally go crazy!!! Then we took on all the Granite School District high school teachers for our instructors.. they treat us like we are 5.. hello.. we are in college.. I do understand it will take them some time to adjust too.. but seriously?? Then all of my friends are either taking the summer off of school, or just not coming back :(

wwwwaaaaahhhhh!!!!

Then they changed the way that we are doing our punches (passing off stuff at night) we used to just have this board, and we would do them when we had time.. well they changed all of that.. they are wanting us to get 4 punches every single night, plus do client's hair that comes in.. at least the client's count as punches.. the problem is all the new instructors have no idea how the new program works.. that we are busy the whole time, and they are only giving us half of the punches... aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

So for the first time in my life I have had a 4.0 GPA.. and this semester I think I am going to lose it.. plus our theory teacher Rayma is on over kill with a whole new text book.. yes.. new text and work book.. we haven't even had the other text and work book for a year, and the college already changed on us.. so that was another hidden $135 that I had to come up with for books.. books that same pratically the same thing as the other book.. and we are told not to sell the original books that we purchased, because in 6 months the school may be enticed to switch back... oh how conveinant for them.. what the crap???? I am just so overwhelmed with school and work sometimes... Am I the only one that ever wonders what the crap am I doing??? why can't I just be happy with an ordinary boring go to work and come home kind of a life???? I love school don't get me wrong.. I am just frustrated with the changes.. I am getting awarded tomorrow for selling the second most products last semester.. yeah!!! So I am getting a prize.. and brought up infront of everyone.. yikes.. can we say stage fright again???

That reminds me of my embarassing moment in the crash course that I took.. not sure if I blogged about it yet.. but just in case here goes.. so we had to do mock job interviews in front of the whole class (30 students and one crazy Scottish teacher) all staring at you.. well we had to be fake interviewed and then give an interview.. I was mortified.. I do not like large crowds, especially just sitting and staring at me making a fool of myself.. I literally cried the night before.. and didn't sleep well do to the anxiety.. so anyways the start the interviewing and well the chair that the interviewer would sit in at the front of the class was broke.. so as you were sitting there asking questions it would just keep dropping another inch again and again.. so basically you were the shrinking interviewer.. not so bad.. we got out all the giggles and we all knew what to expect by this time.. so I did my interview... was mortified.. and then it was my turn to be the interviewer and sit in the dumb shrinking chair.. well I was sitting there asking the girl questions.. needless to say that I wasn't even listening to her answers as I was so embarassed.. by being in front of class, and just finishing my interview.. so there I am sitting, and shrinking to make the matter worse.. the chair decided to start making a farting noise every time is shrunk another inch over, and over, and over again.. not only that but the girl I was mock interviewing decided to call me out on the chair by saying "Excuse you" right in the middle of the interview.. thinking it was just me letting them rip one right after another.. I wanted to die, to just slide off the stupid shrinking farting chair, and die.. I swear I know what it feels like to have ALL your blood sitting in your face, and it feels like fire.. only me did this happen to with the chair.. only me!!

Well I hope who ever reads this was able to get a good laugh out of it.. I know that all of the 30 students and the crazy scottish teacher did.. that's for sure.

Well I better be getting off to bed.. Need more sleep..

Summer Semester has finally begun.. whoo hoo!

Oh yeah baby!!! Summer is here, and the semester has officially started.. I am once again on the cosmo (woman's) side.. then I am guessing some time in July I will be going to the barbering side to do the men's hair.. I miss the barbering side.. but I am needed on the cosmo side I guess?? I already have an appointment tomorrow for a cut and color, that was requested last semester.. oh yeah.. that's right I am getting requested by people.. clients.. and I didn't even know them before I started school.. woot woot.. I love doing hair.. I am so so so excited and happy to be back in the lab working with people.. and to be done with the crash course is awesome.. I love it! I love it! I love it!

I need to get some sleep but I am always so wound up and excited at nights because of school.. it's hard to fall asleep.. but I am going to try it again..

Nighty Night.. Sleep on a bunch..

I did it! I did it! I did it!!!

oh yeah baby!!! I did it.. I finished the crash course with flying colors.. whaaa hoooo.. I also have received a 4.0 G.P.A. for Fall 2008, and now Spring 2009... whooo hoooo!!!! I have never been so into school and loving it.. It's the bestest ever!!! Yeah for me!!! Next week I start Summer Semester.. I can't wait to be back on the lab floor doing hair.

My modern day miracle..

I would love to just sit here all day and think.. well to an extent anyways... alright so I would go crazy just sitting there.. but I like the idea of it.

I love this door.. It just reminded me that as scary as it may be sometimes.. you have to walk through the door, or another analogy is that to always have your door open for blessings.

I love this pic.. I love how it is dark, but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So this week I can say has honestly had it challenges with me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for sure..

I am taking this crash course right now.. one more week to go.. It is taking all that I have literally.. I am so mentally and emotionally overwhelmed with this.. well I think it is more of everything actually. With work and school being so chaotically crazy.. and just feeling a little burned out.. I will get a break between the end of summer semester and fall semester in August.. So I am mentally counting down the days.

Anyways well about this week.. well I started the crash course.. and I have found that I am not much of a big fan of sitting and being lectured all night every work day for the week, after being at work all day. I love being on the lab floor, and doing hair.. So the Human Relations course that I am taking right now.. well let's just say the teacher is a little different.. and he gives us a LOT of homework.. which I am having the hardest time finding time to do.. so it just frustrates me.

So I also received a letter from financial aid this week, well it was more of a statement stating that I needed to pay them $1200 for summer semester.. what?? I don't have that kind of extra money just lying around.. and I am fairly new to the whole financial aid and student loans.. so I called the financial aid office and they said that they only pay out $3500 per year, which is includes Fall 2008, Spring 2009 and Summer 2009.. so the girl there told me that I have already used $2900 so far, and that they could only pay around another $600 for summer, and that I would need to come up with the other $600 in the next couple of weeks.. aaaaahhhhhhhh..

I wanted to bawl.. In fact I think I did cry.. I cry alot lately.. seriously thinking it is a burn out.. so here I am thinking that I am trying to get ahead in life, and go to school, and work and pay off my debts.. oh yeah.. I was going to start reading the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover.. but I have no time.. so anyways I was devastated and was trying to think of a way to come up with alot of money.. let's see there was take on another job.. not sure when I would find the extra time to work it.. or donate some plasma.. lol.. Needless to say that I was desperate.. I know that my parents or brother would lend me the money.. it was just the thought of taking on one more debt, or more monthly installment.. I am sick of being a slave to money and debt.. I am so going to get some more financial freedom..

So here I was sent home early from class on Thursday.. whoo hoo.. too bad the teacher gave us 3 chapter assignments, and another big report.. what a charm.. and ready to cry.. my mother being the ever so positive person just kept telling me that night while I was trying to do my homework to not give up, and that everything will just work itself out.. because I have started to go back to church recently, and did pay my tithing on Sunday.. Although I could think of a million different ways to spend that money and apply it towards bills.. yeah right!!! As if money just falls out of the sky.. I felt like the character in the movie Bruce Almighty when he said that God is just a big kid sitting on an ant hill burning ants.. and I was just another ant.. I know I know... I am so going to have some explaining with him later on..

Well I went to work on Friday just like any other day.. this time depressed, frustrated, overwhelmed and broke.. the ant on the ant hill.. Well later on in the day I receive an email from financial aid.. I was thinking great what is this another statement of more money due?? Well I opened it and like I said being so new to the school, financial aid, and student loans it was going on about the total cost of school, my responsibility and the student loans... but then lo and behold there was a line on the statement that said Utah Cent Oppur Grant.. oh yeah.. I received a grant for $1000 for my summer semester.. At first I thought they were telling me that I needed to come up with another $1000 in two weeks.. So I called the financial aid office and the girl there said that I got a grant and that summer was paid for.. ohhhh what a MIRACLE.. I began to cry out of relief and pure happiness.. for I knew that I have truly been BLESSED.. I asked the girl how I had got the grant.. since I didn't receive one before, and she said that is was "luck" and that they were first come first serve.. I know for a fact that it was not just "luck" but that my prayers had been answered, and that I had been blessed.. I know that I am doing what Heavenly Father wants me to do be doing in the my life right now with going to school to better advance me.. and paying off debts.. and moving on with life..

I seriously thought that the light at the end of the tunnel that I saw this week was just the train that was coming full speed at me, and now I see that it really was just the light at the end of the tunnel.

I love the gospel so much.. I know that it is true, and that by going to church and paying your tithing really does strengthen your testimony, faith and love for our Heavenly Father.

So I know that this post was long.. but like I said many posts ago.. this is more like a journal for me.. and I know that I needed to put this all on here, and out there in the world to share with others, as I am only human and I will not always remember how it is to feel like I do this very moment.

I am also posting some pics from the Tulip Festival fromThanksgiving Point.. the quality may not be that great.. due to them being taken on my cell phone.. but I thought they were pretty.. Hope you enjoy!

aaarrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!

I am so upset.. I just typed this nice big happy blog, and my computer just lost it all.. wah wah wah!!! dumb computers!!!! :(