Just thinkin...

I am just here laying on my bed, with so many thoughts in my head.. Maybe I am crazy.. but do you ever imagine living your life kindof like a movie.. where your life would be some legend that would want to be told.. or would you end up just another person.. who lives just another ordinary life.. what is ordinary anyways.. getting married and having children??? sometime I wonder if that is really for me or not??? Sure I would love to be in love.. but with that comes loss and hurt.. every thing has it's oposition.. It's like friends I become so close with someone.. to only have them leave me in end.. I am happy for them as they are progressing in life.. but I feel like I am just stuck in a rut.. I guess.. Where nothing changes.. granted my current schedule is a little mundane and repititve.. I go to work go to school, and that's it.. I wonder is it enough?? Will it ever be enough for me?? Will I ever just wake up one day and say that I have all that I ever dreamed of?? aahh.. so many questions in my head.. do you ever wonder if it all ended now.. would you said that you lived a good life.. that you honestly gave it your best?? Sometimes I feel like I am living the "groundhog day" over and over.. maybe there is something to be learned, and I am just not getting it?? To have so many thoughts in your head all at once.. it's a bit overwhelming.. I wonder if it is only me? I guess I am the one that decides the end of my story, or my story as a whole.. I am sure that it won't be wrote about is some book, or made into a movie someday.. it's just me.. and my little ordinary life.. I can definitely say that I have had my ups and downs.. sometimes I feel like I have learned so much.. and have grown from these experiences.. and have loved and lost.. which is better they say.. then to never have loved at all. I am thankful for my family and friends.. what a world it would be if they were not in our lives.. imagine a world full of strangers where no one talked, loved, and knew each other.. you would never get hurt.. but would you ever be happy? I guess I am creature of my own mind.. so to say.. not that I know what I am saying.. I love that I can think about things so deeply and passionately.. but sometimes I think that I am losing my mind.. and now I am just putting it all out there for everyone to hear.. or I guess read.. I do know that money, and material things do not matter to me.. I just want to be happy.. Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be bird.. and just fly and be so free?? To see so much.. but still be free.. I wonder?? I wonder because I am me.. and maybe I come across as crazy.. but it's me.. and that is all I can be...