Saturday, May 2, 2009

done with it.. and taking the first step away..

So I decided today that I am just done with the online ATTEMPT at dating.. I just do not have the time to try to email everyone, and flirt with them and then meet the weirdest ones out of the bunch.. which trust me I seem to attract the WEIRDEST ones too.. so I have decided that I am just done with all of it.. I am just going to work and go to school and get my schooling done.. and just focus on that.. I have also decided that I am going to start saving money so that I can start going on some trips or something.. I am single, and young, and I have decided why not try and get out some more, see some more of the world.. Maybe I will finally make it to Disneyland soon.. or even save my butt off and take one good long trip (well at least maybe 2 months) and go to Australia to see my friend Jesseca and her family.. why not right? I just have come to a point that I am just done looking and hoping and praying for the right person to come along.. I have been in love before, and it's great.. but obviously Heavenly Father has something else in store for me.. or it would have just happened in the past 5 years that I have been divorced.. I know that others may think I am taking a cop out, and just giving up.. but until you have been me.. feel like me and know how much it hurts to get your hopes up.. and to only watch them come crashing back down again and again.. then you really have no say.. This is what I feel like I need to do for me at this time.. and even if I end up as the crazy dog lady.. yes dogs.. not much of a cat fan.. then that is okay too.. look at Sheri Dew is she is an amazing lady with so much talent and she is still single.. granted if I was a man I would be intimidated of her like no other.. hmm.. president or ceo of Deseret Book, wrote many books for the prophets.. unless I was a prophet not sure if I would feel worthy of her.. anyways that was such a sidetracked note.. ha ha.. but I seriously am going to make some goals that doesn't involve someone coming into my life, or making me happy.. because I really need to do that for myself.. I am done crying about all of it.. So I am going to finish school.. save money.. take some trips.. start a career in hair, and just live life to the fullest with just me.. because after all.. all the people that I let in, or get close to.. end up leaving in the long run anyways.. so I am just done.. there I have said it, typed it, and now it is out there.. wish me luck.. I am not saying that it is going to be easy.. but at least I am taking the first step which say something..