My modern day miracle..

I would love to just sit here all day and think.. well to an extent anyways... alright so I would go crazy just sitting there.. but I like the idea of it.

I love this door.. It just reminded me that as scary as it may be sometimes.. you have to walk through the door, or another analogy is that to always have your door open for blessings.

I love this pic.. I love how it is dark, but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So this week I can say has honestly had it challenges with me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for sure..

I am taking this crash course right now.. one more week to go.. It is taking all that I have literally.. I am so mentally and emotionally overwhelmed with this.. well I think it is more of everything actually. With work and school being so chaotically crazy.. and just feeling a little burned out.. I will get a break between the end of summer semester and fall semester in August.. So I am mentally counting down the days.

Anyways well about this week.. well I started the crash course.. and I have found that I am not much of a big fan of sitting and being lectured all night every work day for the week, after being at work all day. I love being on the lab floor, and doing hair.. So the Human Relations course that I am taking right now.. well let's just say the teacher is a little different.. and he gives us a LOT of homework.. which I am having the hardest time finding time to do.. so it just frustrates me.

So I also received a letter from financial aid this week, well it was more of a statement stating that I needed to pay them $1200 for summer semester.. what?? I don't have that kind of extra money just lying around.. and I am fairly new to the whole financial aid and student loans.. so I called the financial aid office and they said that they only pay out $3500 per year, which is includes Fall 2008, Spring 2009 and Summer 2009.. so the girl there told me that I have already used $2900 so far, and that they could only pay around another $600 for summer, and that I would need to come up with the other $600 in the next couple of weeks.. aaaaahhhhhhhh..

I wanted to bawl.. In fact I think I did cry.. I cry alot lately.. seriously thinking it is a burn out.. so here I am thinking that I am trying to get ahead in life, and go to school, and work and pay off my debts.. oh yeah.. I was going to start reading the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover.. but I have no time.. so anyways I was devastated and was trying to think of a way to come up with alot of money.. let's see there was take on another job.. not sure when I would find the extra time to work it.. or donate some plasma.. lol.. Needless to say that I was desperate.. I know that my parents or brother would lend me the money.. it was just the thought of taking on one more debt, or more monthly installment.. I am sick of being a slave to money and debt.. I am so going to get some more financial freedom..

So here I was sent home early from class on Thursday.. whoo hoo.. too bad the teacher gave us 3 chapter assignments, and another big report.. what a charm.. and ready to cry.. my mother being the ever so positive person just kept telling me that night while I was trying to do my homework to not give up, and that everything will just work itself out.. because I have started to go back to church recently, and did pay my tithing on Sunday.. Although I could think of a million different ways to spend that money and apply it towards bills.. yeah right!!! As if money just falls out of the sky.. I felt like the character in the movie Bruce Almighty when he said that God is just a big kid sitting on an ant hill burning ants.. and I was just another ant.. I know I know... I am so going to have some explaining with him later on..

Well I went to work on Friday just like any other day.. this time depressed, frustrated, overwhelmed and broke.. the ant on the ant hill.. Well later on in the day I receive an email from financial aid.. I was thinking great what is this another statement of more money due?? Well I opened it and like I said being so new to the school, financial aid, and student loans it was going on about the total cost of school, my responsibility and the student loans... but then lo and behold there was a line on the statement that said Utah Cent Oppur Grant.. oh yeah.. I received a grant for $1000 for my summer semester.. At first I thought they were telling me that I needed to come up with another $1000 in two weeks.. So I called the financial aid office and the girl there said that I got a grant and that summer was paid for.. ohhhh what a MIRACLE.. I began to cry out of relief and pure happiness.. for I knew that I have truly been BLESSED.. I asked the girl how I had got the grant.. since I didn't receive one before, and she said that is was "luck" and that they were first come first serve.. I know for a fact that it was not just "luck" but that my prayers had been answered, and that I had been blessed.. I know that I am doing what Heavenly Father wants me to do be doing in the my life right now with going to school to better advance me.. and paying off debts.. and moving on with life..

I seriously thought that the light at the end of the tunnel that I saw this week was just the train that was coming full speed at me, and now I see that it really was just the light at the end of the tunnel.

I love the gospel so much.. I know that it is true, and that by going to church and paying your tithing really does strengthen your testimony, faith and love for our Heavenly Father.

So I know that this post was long.. but like I said many posts ago.. this is more like a journal for me.. and I know that I needed to put this all on here, and out there in the world to share with others, as I am only human and I will not always remember how it is to feel like I do this very moment.

I am also posting some pics from the Tulip Festival fromThanksgiving Point.. the quality may not be that great.. due to them being taken on my cell phone.. but I thought they were pretty.. Hope you enjoy!