IIIIIIII'''''''''MMMMMMM BACK!!!

So it really has been quite some time since I have blogged on here.. but I am back.. I needed to just take some time and get some stuff done.

So let's see to get this up to date.. I started Fall semester of school on August 26th.. I am taking 17 credits.. which is very overwhelming.. I no longer work on Friday's as I am going to classes from noon until 10 pm.. I am still loving hair school.. I am on the barbering (men's) side again. I can't believe that I only have one more year left and then I will be graduating with my Associates in Applied Science, and will be able to get my license for barbering and cosmetology.

I have had some wake up calls latetly that are making me re-analyze my life.. I have realized that I have been disconnected from everyone for soo long.. that I really don't know those that I work with that well, or the girls from hair school that well.. Although on the other hand I am realizing that people are not who I thought of them to be.. take it as you will being more good or bad than I ever expected.

I know that I am in an industry that is very superficial, and with girls that are blessed or cursed with the gift a gab.. I am beginning to think that women never grow out of the gossiping faze.. especially in the hair business. So I am learning who I can and can not trust to keep things to themselves.. it is a hard lesson.. and I am learning slowly but surely.. it makes me sad when some of the cute girls at school don't end up being as good of a friend as I thought that they would be.

I know that I have truly been blessed in my life to have or had some amazing friends in my life that have done so much for me.. I just wish that we all had more time to spend time together, but life is just crazy busy for everyone right now.. It's life.. what else can I say.

So life is good.. I am getting things back in order and on track.. finally.. I have returned to church, and I am paying my tithing and fast offerings.. I know that I am truly being blessed, and I am so thankful for our Heavenly Father and his UNCONDITIONAL love that just truly amazes me, and also for repentence.. I know that it is a long run back, but at least I have taken the first few steps.. I am really hoping to get my temple recommend back and active.. I miss going to the temple and feeling of the peace and serenity, but I am working on it.

well I think this is enough for now.. xoxoxo Sherry

Have you ever?

Have you ever just work up one day and wondered if this is it? this is your life? This is all that you have become.. through it all.. this is it? I know.. I am in such a weird thinking mood today.. like most days.. I usually keep it all in my head.. but I just need to get it all out.. ever had days like that? Did you ever think that you would be who you are, and where you are 10 years ago today? I know that I sure didn't.. yeah some things have made me stronger in the long run.. and some have just broke me down and closed me off from everyone.. Do you ever recover? I have realized this weekend that I will never be the same naive, and open person that I was years ago. I also realized this weekend that I have built up so many barriers, and that I am just soo closed off to the outside world.. I just live in a bubble so to say.. It's nice and protected.. a little too protected. I have been seriously thinking and wondering what I really want out of this life.. I have been alone for so long.. I am not even sure that I can let someone else in even if I wanted to.. I should also get an Oscar for my acting.. acting.. everyone does it.. Do we ever really know what the other person is thinking, feeling??? Why are we so afraid to show people who we really are? that we are broken, hurt, confused, lost, and feel beyond hope?? I am sure that most of the others around you feel the same way in one way or another.. They all look like they have it so together, and they are so happy.. but deep down inside are they? I wish that I was as happy as I used to be, that I was open to new things, and new people without any fear.. How would it be.. What would I do if I wasn't afraid anymore? What would alot of people do without their fears? Well now that I think I have even more questions spinning in my head than before.. I better get going.. Maybe someday I will not be so lost in my head, and I will be free.. to not be afraid anymore.. to not fear the pain of letting someone else in.. who knows??

ScReAm AlReAdY!!!!!

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! just needed to scream already.. I am so frustrated!!!! It's only the second week of the summer semester.. and they have changed soooo much at school.. I am not sure that I like or can keep up with all the changes.. first of all our main instructor over nights is leaving us for Canyon School District after 19 years.. not sure why she would want to go back to the high school students.. I would personally go crazy!!! Then we took on all the Granite School District high school teachers for our instructors.. they treat us like we are 5.. hello.. we are in college.. I do understand it will take them some time to adjust too.. but seriously?? Then all of my friends are either taking the summer off of school, or just not coming back :(

wwwwaaaaahhhhh!!!!

Then they changed the way that we are doing our punches (passing off stuff at night) we used to just have this board, and we would do them when we had time.. well they changed all of that.. they are wanting us to get 4 punches every single night, plus do client's hair that comes in.. at least the client's count as punches.. the problem is all the new instructors have no idea how the new program works.. that we are busy the whole time, and they are only giving us half of the punches... aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

So for the first time in my life I have had a 4.0 GPA.. and this semester I think I am going to lose it.. plus our theory teacher Rayma is on over kill with a whole new text book.. yes.. new text and work book.. we haven't even had the other text and work book for a year, and the college already changed on us.. so that was another hidden $135 that I had to come up with for books.. books that same pratically the same thing as the other book.. and we are told not to sell the original books that we purchased, because in 6 months the school may be enticed to switch back... oh how conveinant for them.. what the crap???? I am just so overwhelmed with school and work sometimes... Am I the only one that ever wonders what the crap am I doing??? why can't I just be happy with an ordinary boring go to work and come home kind of a life???? I love school don't get me wrong.. I am just frustrated with the changes.. I am getting awarded tomorrow for selling the second most products last semester.. yeah!!! So I am getting a prize.. and brought up infront of everyone.. yikes.. can we say stage fright again???

That reminds me of my embarassing moment in the crash course that I took.. not sure if I blogged about it yet.. but just in case here goes.. so we had to do mock job interviews in front of the whole class (30 students and one crazy Scottish teacher) all staring at you.. well we had to be fake interviewed and then give an interview.. I was mortified.. I do not like large crowds, especially just sitting and staring at me making a fool of myself.. I literally cried the night before.. and didn't sleep well do to the anxiety.. so anyways the start the interviewing and well the chair that the interviewer would sit in at the front of the class was broke.. so as you were sitting there asking questions it would just keep dropping another inch again and again.. so basically you were the shrinking interviewer.. not so bad.. we got out all the giggles and we all knew what to expect by this time.. so I did my interview... was mortified.. and then it was my turn to be the interviewer and sit in the dumb shrinking chair.. well I was sitting there asking the girl questions.. needless to say that I wasn't even listening to her answers as I was so embarassed.. by being in front of class, and just finishing my interview.. so there I am sitting, and shrinking to make the matter worse.. the chair decided to start making a farting noise every time is shrunk another inch over, and over, and over again.. not only that but the girl I was mock interviewing decided to call me out on the chair by saying "Excuse you" right in the middle of the interview.. thinking it was just me letting them rip one right after another.. I wanted to die, to just slide off the stupid shrinking farting chair, and die.. I swear I know what it feels like to have ALL your blood sitting in your face, and it feels like fire.. only me did this happen to with the chair.. only me!!

Well I hope who ever reads this was able to get a good laugh out of it.. I know that all of the 30 students and the crazy scottish teacher did.. that's for sure.

Well I better be getting off to bed.. Need more sleep..

Summer Semester has finally begun.. whoo hoo!

Oh yeah baby!!! Summer is here, and the semester has officially started.. I am once again on the cosmo (woman's) side.. then I am guessing some time in July I will be going to the barbering side to do the men's hair.. I miss the barbering side.. but I am needed on the cosmo side I guess?? I already have an appointment tomorrow for a cut and color, that was requested last semester.. oh yeah.. that's right I am getting requested by people.. clients.. and I didn't even know them before I started school.. woot woot.. I love doing hair.. I am so so so excited and happy to be back in the lab working with people.. and to be done with the crash course is awesome.. I love it! I love it! I love it!

I need to get some sleep but I am always so wound up and excited at nights because of school.. it's hard to fall asleep.. but I am going to try it again..

Nighty Night.. Sleep on a bunch..

I did it! I did it! I did it!!!

oh yeah baby!!! I did it.. I finished the crash course with flying colors.. whaaa hoooo.. I also have received a 4.0 G.P.A. for Fall 2008, and now Spring 2009... whooo hoooo!!!! I have never been so into school and loving it.. It's the bestest ever!!! Yeah for me!!! Next week I start Summer Semester.. I can't wait to be back on the lab floor doing hair.

My modern day miracle..

I would love to just sit here all day and think.. well to an extent anyways... alright so I would go crazy just sitting there.. but I like the idea of it.

I love this door.. It just reminded me that as scary as it may be sometimes.. you have to walk through the door, or another analogy is that to always have your door open for blessings.

I love this pic.. I love how it is dark, but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So this week I can say has honestly had it challenges with me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for sure..

I am taking this crash course right now.. one more week to go.. It is taking all that I have literally.. I am so mentally and emotionally overwhelmed with this.. well I think it is more of everything actually. With work and school being so chaotically crazy.. and just feeling a little burned out.. I will get a break between the end of summer semester and fall semester in August.. So I am mentally counting down the days.

Anyways well about this week.. well I started the crash course.. and I have found that I am not much of a big fan of sitting and being lectured all night every work day for the week, after being at work all day. I love being on the lab floor, and doing hair.. So the Human Relations course that I am taking right now.. well let's just say the teacher is a little different.. and he gives us a LOT of homework.. which I am having the hardest time finding time to do.. so it just frustrates me.

So I also received a letter from financial aid this week, well it was more of a statement stating that I needed to pay them $1200 for summer semester.. what?? I don't have that kind of extra money just lying around.. and I am fairly new to the whole financial aid and student loans.. so I called the financial aid office and they said that they only pay out $3500 per year, which is includes Fall 2008, Spring 2009 and Summer 2009.. so the girl there told me that I have already used $2900 so far, and that they could only pay around another $600 for summer, and that I would need to come up with the other $600 in the next couple of weeks.. aaaaahhhhhhhh..

I wanted to bawl.. In fact I think I did cry.. I cry alot lately.. seriously thinking it is a burn out.. so here I am thinking that I am trying to get ahead in life, and go to school, and work and pay off my debts.. oh yeah.. I was going to start reading the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover.. but I have no time.. so anyways I was devastated and was trying to think of a way to come up with alot of money.. let's see there was take on another job.. not sure when I would find the extra time to work it.. or donate some plasma.. lol.. Needless to say that I was desperate.. I know that my parents or brother would lend me the money.. it was just the thought of taking on one more debt, or more monthly installment.. I am sick of being a slave to money and debt.. I am so going to get some more financial freedom..

So here I was sent home early from class on Thursday.. whoo hoo.. too bad the teacher gave us 3 chapter assignments, and another big report.. what a charm.. and ready to cry.. my mother being the ever so positive person just kept telling me that night while I was trying to do my homework to not give up, and that everything will just work itself out.. because I have started to go back to church recently, and did pay my tithing on Sunday.. Although I could think of a million different ways to spend that money and apply it towards bills.. yeah right!!! As if money just falls out of the sky.. I felt like the character in the movie Bruce Almighty when he said that God is just a big kid sitting on an ant hill burning ants.. and I was just another ant.. I know I know... I am so going to have some explaining with him later on..

Well I went to work on Friday just like any other day.. this time depressed, frustrated, overwhelmed and broke.. the ant on the ant hill.. Well later on in the day I receive an email from financial aid.. I was thinking great what is this another statement of more money due?? Well I opened it and like I said being so new to the school, financial aid, and student loans it was going on about the total cost of school, my responsibility and the student loans... but then lo and behold there was a line on the statement that said Utah Cent Oppur Grant.. oh yeah.. I received a grant for $1000 for my summer semester.. At first I thought they were telling me that I needed to come up with another $1000 in two weeks.. So I called the financial aid office and the girl there said that I got a grant and that summer was paid for.. ohhhh what a MIRACLE.. I began to cry out of relief and pure happiness.. for I knew that I have truly been BLESSED.. I asked the girl how I had got the grant.. since I didn't receive one before, and she said that is was "luck" and that they were first come first serve.. I know for a fact that it was not just "luck" but that my prayers had been answered, and that I had been blessed.. I know that I am doing what Heavenly Father wants me to do be doing in the my life right now with going to school to better advance me.. and paying off debts.. and moving on with life..

I seriously thought that the light at the end of the tunnel that I saw this week was just the train that was coming full speed at me, and now I see that it really was just the light at the end of the tunnel.

I love the gospel so much.. I know that it is true, and that by going to church and paying your tithing really does strengthen your testimony, faith and love for our Heavenly Father.

So I know that this post was long.. but like I said many posts ago.. this is more like a journal for me.. and I know that I needed to put this all on here, and out there in the world to share with others, as I am only human and I will not always remember how it is to feel like I do this very moment.

I am also posting some pics from the Tulip Festival fromThanksgiving Point.. the quality may not be that great.. due to them being taken on my cell phone.. but I thought they were pretty.. Hope you enjoy!

aaarrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!

I am so upset.. I just typed this nice big happy blog, and my computer just lost it all.. wah wah wah!!! dumb computers!!!! :(

the wealth of unknown knowledge is amazing to me..

Yeah!!! Thanks to my sister I found and was able to post this old blog.. I thought that I lost the other night. Thanks Julie!!

Oh yeah.. so I started my crash course for Human Relations in the Work Place class tonight.. it's a bit overwhelming to me to fit a 15 week course into the next 2 WEEKS.. I love that I will be done with it in two weeks.. the papers and homework and the 4 and a 1/2 hours sitting in one class is a little rough.. My teacher Doug New is funny though.. he is scottish and has the accent to prove it.. sometimes a little hard to understand.. but I swear he has something funny to say about everything.. which is good.. He did give us quite a bit of home work for the first night.. I guess we will have take home assignments every night of the week.. aaaahhhhh.. not sure when I am going to find time to do it all.. but it's only 2 weeks right.. and only from 5 to 9:30 every night right??? then at last my summer semester will be a week into it, and I will be a little behind on that too.. I need more time!!!! Don't get me wrong though.. I love work and school, when I am not at one or the other, I am bored out of my mind.. I do love some alone time, family time, and whatever else time I can get.. but I find myself a little dumbfounded without being so busy.



So I have to say that I am truly amazed at the amount of the never ending knowledge that is so

done with it.. and taking the first step away..

So I decided today that I am just done with the online ATTEMPT at dating.. I just do not have the time to try to email everyone, and flirt with them and then meet the weirdest ones out of the bunch.. which trust me I seem to attract the WEIRDEST ones too.. so I have decided that I am just done with all of it.. I am just going to work and go to school and get my schooling done.. and just focus on that.. I have also decided that I am going to start saving money so that I can start going on some trips or something.. I am single, and young, and I have decided why not try and get out some more, see some more of the world.. Maybe I will finally make it to Disneyland soon.. or even save my butt off and take one good long trip (well at least maybe 2 months) and go to Australia to see my friend Jesseca and her family.. why not right? I just have come to a point that I am just done looking and hoping and praying for the right person to come along.. I have been in love before, and it's great.. but obviously Heavenly Father has something else in store for me.. or it would have just happened in the past 5 years that I have been divorced.. I know that others may think I am taking a cop out, and just giving up.. but until you have been me.. feel like me and know how much it hurts to get your hopes up.. and to only watch them come crashing back down again and again.. then you really have no say.. This is what I feel like I need to do for me at this time.. and even if I end up as the crazy dog lady.. yes dogs.. not much of a cat fan.. then that is okay too.. look at Sheri Dew is she is an amazing lady with so much talent and she is still single.. granted if I was a man I would be intimidated of her like no other.. hmm.. president or ceo of Deseret Book, wrote many books for the prophets.. unless I was a prophet not sure if I would feel worthy of her.. anyways that was such a sidetracked note.. ha ha.. but I seriously am going to make some goals that doesn't involve someone coming into my life, or making me happy.. because I really need to do that for myself.. I am done crying about all of it.. So I am going to finish school.. save money.. take some trips.. start a career in hair, and just live life to the fullest with just me.. because after all.. all the people that I let in, or get close to.. end up leaving in the long run anyways.. so I am just done.. there I have said it, typed it, and now it is out there.. wish me luck.. I am not saying that it is going to be easy.. but at least I am taking the first step which say something..

Just thinkin...

I am just here laying on my bed, with so many thoughts in my head.. Maybe I am crazy.. but do you ever imagine living your life kindof like a movie.. where your life would be some legend that would want to be told.. or would you end up just another person.. who lives just another ordinary life.. what is ordinary anyways.. getting married and having children??? sometime I wonder if that is really for me or not??? Sure I would love to be in love.. but with that comes loss and hurt.. every thing has it's oposition.. It's like friends I become so close with someone.. to only have them leave me in end.. I am happy for them as they are progressing in life.. but I feel like I am just stuck in a rut.. I guess.. Where nothing changes.. granted my current schedule is a little mundane and repititve.. I go to work go to school, and that's it.. I wonder is it enough?? Will it ever be enough for me?? Will I ever just wake up one day and say that I have all that I ever dreamed of?? aahh.. so many questions in my head.. do you ever wonder if it all ended now.. would you said that you lived a good life.. that you honestly gave it your best?? Sometimes I feel like I am living the "groundhog day" over and over.. maybe there is something to be learned, and I am just not getting it?? To have so many thoughts in your head all at once.. it's a bit overwhelming.. I wonder if it is only me? I guess I am the one that decides the end of my story, or my story as a whole.. I am sure that it won't be wrote about is some book, or made into a movie someday.. it's just me.. and my little ordinary life.. I can definitely say that I have had my ups and downs.. sometimes I feel like I have learned so much.. and have grown from these experiences.. and have loved and lost.. which is better they say.. then to never have loved at all. I am thankful for my family and friends.. what a world it would be if they were not in our lives.. imagine a world full of strangers where no one talked, loved, and knew each other.. you would never get hurt.. but would you ever be happy? I guess I am creature of my own mind.. so to say.. not that I know what I am saying.. I love that I can think about things so deeply and passionately.. but sometimes I think that I am losing my mind.. and now I am just putting it all out there for everyone to hear.. or I guess read.. I do know that money, and material things do not matter to me.. I just want to be happy.. Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be bird.. and just fly and be so free?? To see so much.. but still be free.. I wonder?? I wonder because I am me.. and maybe I come across as crazy.. but it's me.. and that is all I can be...

crazy colors and a perv..

So I haven't posted to this in forev.. Let's see work is going alright.. finally getting caught up on all the quotes.. it's been crazy busy.. everyone is shopping their rates.. Which is to be expected with our economy.. Oh yeah.. I got some extensions done, they fell out after a week and a half.. still dealing with that stylist trying to get some of my money back. Then my friend Shaylee at school did them again this week.. she has never done them before and they are way better.. some people are just naturals.. I wish that I was with hair.

I had a girl come in tonight for a color of platinum blondish and also some red purple dark brown color.. (what I used to do sometimes.. kindof miss the crazy colors..) let's just say that it was such a challenge.. I was the last one at school tonight except for my friend Megan that waited for me.. Oh and that brings me to another story of tonight.. My friend Megan got a guy in there tonight that wanted his hair colored.. well the color card that we keep track of clients on said do not leave your color bowl or brush with him.. well that was an understatement.. so she starts coloring his hair, and he just keeps telling her to leave some extra dye for him??? she asked if he wanted her to touch up his mustache or beard.. not understanding.. finally she just came to the cosmo side and was talking to the instructor Rayma and said that this guy is freaking out and wants the extra color and so on.. well come to find out he likes to take the color bowl and extra color and go to the bathroom to color his eyebrows.. yeah right.. so Rayma the instructor went over there after he freaked out and made Megan cry (she is a tough girl) cause she rinsed out her color bowl and didn't give him any.. well Rayma went over there and asked him flat out what the deal is, and he said that he wanted to color his eyebrows, and also his "cookie" seriously??? what a perv.. needless to say Megan just stayed on the cosmo side and helped me with my crazy color.. and to think before lab she said that we should just sluff and not go.. on nights like this I wish I would have.. but I haven't missed a night of school this whole semester..

So yeah.. that is my crazy drama at school.. and trust me there is some drama.. I am in beauty school full of women with a few men.. I hear so much every night I am not sure where to put it all.. too much sometimes.. Well I better get going got to TRY to fall asleep for another day.. can't wait for this weekend.. to spend time with all the family.. yay! ;)

What a mess..

This week hasn't been my best week.. no surprise there.. So I had some pretty long gorgeous extensions put into my hair.. oh yeah.. I paid a pretty few too many pennys to get it done, and here it is exactly a week and a half later and yeah I no longer have any extensions.. they were all falling out.. It's ridiculous.. I honestly don't think the girl that did them knew what she was doing, first of all she put newspaper elastic bands in my hair, and also used blonde thread to sew in my brown extensions.. what a mess.. then she just suggested that I have someone take a black marker and color the blonde threads.. can we say ghetto.. So I went back to the salon yesterday and she had to cut out the extensions, and re-braid the bottom row and then sew them back in.. which was great.. it took an extra hour out of my time.. then the next day the middle row is falling out.. seriously.. I am fed up I work full time and go to school full time, and I don't have time to keep going back to Tangles Salon to have her sew them back in every other day.... so freakin retarded..

Anyways my instructor at school saw it and she called the stylist for me too since she was taking my calls (how convienant) until I call from another phone.. then magically she answers.. anyways my instructor told her that she should give me all of my money since the service wasn't done in a professional manner, and that her customer service sucks basically.. well now I have this girl keep calling me and arguing with me about the refund.. seriously I do understand that she did spend some time on my hair, but the service I requested and the service I received sucked.. extensions are supposed to last in your hair up to 3 months.. mine is barely making it past a week.. Then I tried to call the owner of the salon and they said that I most likely will not be getting any of my money back, and they didn't even listen to my complaint.. Then my instructor said tonight that she just heard that like 10 girls just wanted out of that salon and quit.. oh yeah.. I know how to pick em'.

So needless to say I was all excited to have long, beautiful, flowing locks of hair, and now I have nothing, all the extensions have been removed, a stylist that won't give me my money back, and oh yeah the date from this past weekend has gone psycho on me and won't leave me alone..

At least I am giving the opportunity to some gals at school to put in my extensions again.. but not until next week. :(

At least my head is getting rest of the headaches and no braids poking me in the head all night.

Still though what a waste of money, for me to end up with nothing in the long run.

I did learn tonight at school how many friends I have, and how many helped me out, and have my back. So I guess I can say that I have a posse behind me now.. lol..

Storm coming in..

So here I am waiting to fall asleep.. I can hear the wind blowing hard outside my window.. There is a storm coming in.. which means perfect sleeping weather if it isn't too rough. I am not too thrilled to see what this storm in bringing.. unless it is just rain.. I love the rain. I love when the wind blows because you know changes are coming.. I am going to go now.. I have soo many words running through my head.. I can't put them all together..

Maybe I will sleep now.

First date of 2009

Yep.. you heard right.. I went on a date tonight. We met up at Fat Cat's Bowling.. we played some arcade games, and did some bowling.. I suggested the we play HORSE while bowling.. it was alright.. not as fun or funny as the time that I went with Bryan.. The guy Kevin is very nice, he has been divorced and has a 3 year old son Jaxson.. It was fun.. I am not totally sure that the chemistry is there.. Does the chemistry come right away.. or after some time????

So I got extensions today.. I love them.. I so have missed having long hair.. not that mine was this thick and gorgeous.. but it is now.. the braids are killing my head!!!! Wow!! I am ice packing my head right now.. I told the girl I would try this, and she said that she has never heard of anyone ice packing it.. but it helps just a tiny bit.. ouchh.. I really hope this headache doesn't last for 4 days..

Here is the dummy with the up-do I did the first night 3 times over.. it turned out really pretty though.

HoPe It KeEpS GeTtInG bEtTeR....

Hooray! Hooray! Whoo Hoo!!! Things are turning around for me.. I am so excited.. come to find out they moved me away because they wanted to keep their eye on another girl, which the next day they cleaned out her locker with police in tow.. and then they kicked her out of school.. Crazy.. Crazy!!! I don't know the full story.. but I got my station back.. whoo hoo.. I am by my friends again.. Hopefully they just don't move them away from me now..

So I did a color on a woman from India tonight.. she had the most beautiful long shiny dark brown healthy hair.. never been colored.. well until tonight anyways.. she wanted a light brown hair.. why is it that we are never happy with the hair that we get??? So anyways I colored all of her hair, her roots at the end processed a little faster than the ends.. and well she is coming back in tomorrow to have it colored darker.. We didn't find the happy medium tonight.. but that is okay because I did my first official hair color at school finally... whoo hoo..

So Saba (the client) was telling me about her life.. and she said that she just moved here from India, because she got married in July 08' and has been here for only a month. It was a ARRANGED MARRIAGE.. yeah.. I didn't think that they did those anymore.. she said that her mom picked several guys for her, and then she got to choose out of those guys.. and his mom picked several women for him, and he had to choose the final one.. crazy!!!!! She said that she now lives here with him finally, and to top it off they live with his parents and grandparents.. I so admire her. I don't think I could just marry someone that my mom picked out for me, and then move to another country and live with all the in-laws.. I am sure she is having a hard time to adjusting or maybe not.. maybe that would just be me.. At the rate that I am dating.. maybe I should get an arranged marriage.. ha ha..

They seem happy together.. she of course wants to have babies right away.. he would like to wait 8 or 9 years.. they definitely have their differences that they need to work out.. but don't we all.

I am just way excited because I can honestly testify that with faith and alot of prayer things can turn around.. I know that Heavenly Father has blessed me in this life with a wonderful family, and the best friends that I could ever wish for.. I am not sure what is in the future for me.. I guess that is why they call it a test so that you can gain your testimony.. I would have to say that mine is growing with everything that I have been through in the past 6 years.. but looking back I know that Heavenly Father has been with me the whole time.. which is the best blessing of all.

I am off to bed.. hope to get some good sleep tonight... I need it.. So excited for Spring break.. yay!! no school all night week.. what a relief. Good night!

First night not so good.

So I started my first night on the cosmetology side. I was nervous once again.. Things turned out great.. they seated me and all my friends all together.. very unheard of for the cosmo side they are alot more.. well I can't think of just one word to describe it.. cause it is just so different than the barbering side.. which I miss so much at this point.. sad I know since it was only my first night of well once again too many words to describe it.. I just think straight right now.. ha ha.. Well anyways our instructors have been known to have favorites.. I unfortunately do not think that I am one of them.

They decided that I didn't need a client tonight.. although pretty much everyone else got one. Then at the end of the night they told me that they are moving me to the abyss I mean the other side of the lab.. there is one girl over there one.. well make that two as of tomorrow.. I think I have been officially voted off the island.. Since I was the one and only student decided to move.. this sucks.. On a more positive note at least I know the one other girl, and we talk sometimes.. I guess I shouldn't let them know that we are friends.. they might just sit me in a corner all by myself.. Also they don't even forwarn you that your client / walk-in is there.. they have some one just bring them by.. well that was the same on the barbering side.. but I sat by the door so I kindof knew in advance what to expect.

Anyways so I started to do my up-do tonight.. yeah.. let's say that I am not a natural at that.. I decided to call my mannequin head "Mangey" tonight.. after rolling around in my trunk for quite some time.. I couldn't even get a brush in her hair.. well I did but it almost got stuck in there for good. So I did an up-do to have the main instructor tell me to fix it a little.. I put so many bobby pins in there.. you would have thought that a bomb went off with them inside.. I honestly didn't know what was pinning what back.. so I did it again.. and well of the loops made it look a little Princess Laya from Star Wars.. I don't think it helped when I shared my not funny comment with the instructor.. so she told me to do it again.. and she would come help me.. finally it turned out.. with help of course.. I so wish that I was a natural at this. I so love and miss barbering too, it's weird to think of how I thought they were throwing us to the sharks when we started on that side.. now I just feel hopeless.. so needless to say it was not such a good first night.

To hoping that it gets better.. or sorry girls I will be doing men only!

I wonder???

I wonder when it will come the time for him to feel remorse?
I wonder when the day will come that I will be happy and in love again?
I wonder if how one day you are on one course in your life? And the next you are on another?
I wonder if he even remembers today or what once was?
I wonder why we have what the other wanted?
I wonder why after all this time.. I am still hurting? Am I broken? Will it ever stop?
I wonder why none of this seems to affect him at all?
I wonder why I still cry? and he never did.
I wonder when it will feel like I have a heart to give again.. maybe there is nothing left.

I know that I am grateful for my life, and everything that I have endured this far. I just sometimes wonder why things have turned out the way that they have. Why I wanted the marriage and family.. and he wanted to be alone.. and look who got what??? I wonder when it will all make sense to me? I wonder why now?? am I having this meltdown or whatever you call it?

I know that I am thankful for the opportunities that I have now.. that I know wouldn't be possible if back then would be today.

I just have a hard time.. especially today of all days.. I just wonder why he even wanted to get married, it that is never what he wanted?? Or why he said that he loved me, when he never meant it??

I know this isn't the most positive post I have put on here.. but I just needed to get this out of my mind, or just out there.. so I can have some kindof release if that is possible.

The Biggest Compliment yet.. loved it!!! :)

So the other night at school we were pretty slow, and my barbering instructor Paul's regular clients came in for a hair cut since Paul has been booked for a few weeks now at his shop.. and Paul chose me out of all the students to do his regular client, and I asked him why after and he said that because he thinks that I am a really good barber.. whoo hoo!!! I was shocked because normally you don't want to give one of your regulars to a new student.. but it was awesome.. also I have been getting $3 tips from guys now.. I must be improving.. yay!!! I love the barbering side.. I am excited to switch to the cosmo side in March.. but a little sad too.. I could cut little boys' and men's hair all day.. I love it.. I need some more shaves.. if any of you guys are interested come on in.. The hair cuts are $2 and the shaves which include a facial massage are only $1. cheap cheap cheap!!!!

Well I better get back to work.. I will post some pics from school soon..

Fascination

INSTRUCTIONS:1. Put your iPod or other music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the NEXT button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?Keep on keepin on

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?Dangerous and Sweet

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?I feel it all

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?What goes around comes around

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?Decode

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?You belong with me

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?When I fall in love

WHAT IS 2+2?She holds the key

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?Lose my breath

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?The Sweet Escape

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP??I won't disagree

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE??Your love

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?Lost without you

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?Bitter Sweety Symphony

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?Hella Good

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?Emotions

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?Back in baby's arms

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?I'm gonna be alright

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?I hate this part

HOW WILL YOU DIE?Like a song

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?We will not grow old

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?It's my life

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?I'm leavin' on a jet plane (hawaiian mix)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?Come on

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?Relax

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?Neverlost

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?Clumsy

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?I'm not over

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?Fascination

First shave and ready for more.. I think!!??

Well tonight at school I did my first straight razor shave on a guy named Leo. It's amazing how I remembered his name being that I usually don't remember the name two seconds after I start cutting hair.. need to work on the memory a little more.. ha ha.. but he was good looking.. I wonder if that had anything to do with it?? ;) Anyways it was good I only nicked a tiny little spot by the corner of the mouth.. I also did my bestest taper cut on a little boy tonight.. I have to say I would mind cutting little boys hair all day long.. so yeah that is school.. I can't believe that January is already gone.. by the first week of March we will be in mid-terms and switching to the cosmo side.. I am a little sad to be leaving the barber side.. ironic since I feared it the most.. oh well.. I am excited to do all the ladies that I work with.. they said that I could do whatever I would like to their hair.. I think they will be taking back that statement after they first sit down in the chair.. yep.. I am sure that they are just leading me on.. ha ha..

(Sorry Todd you weren't my first shave.. by the way when are you coming in.. I have 9 more shaves to pass off.)

Anyways I went to the dentist this week.. it was soooo nice to get my teeth cleaned after not having it for almost 3 years now.. no insurance issues.. in case you were wondering.. Anyways they put on this brush on flouride now.. it makes it feel like you haven't brushed your teeth in like a week.. Furry teeth.. Now all my teeth are sensitive and hurt :( Can't wait to go back next month and get the cavities fixed.. at least my dentist now has the laughing gas.. have to pay extra.. insurance doesn't cover it, but I think it will be well worth it.. before the BIG needles go in.. hate those.

Oh yeah! I had my nose waxed this week with my friend Megan.. she talked me into it.. It DIDN'T hurt at all.. so crazy.. but I am serious.. no pain at all.. however, if you laugh while the stick with wax is up your nose it vibrates and tickles.. darn girl shouldn't have told me that.. I couldn't stop laughing. ha ha..

Well I need to get some sleep..

No sleep again!!!

Here it is another night.. and I can't sleep again.. this sucks! I did color my hair tonight.. will have to post some pictures.. I want to get it cut tomorrow.

Well all in all I finished another week of school, and yes I am still loving it!! I am getting better at cutting men's / boy's hair.. So far I have cut around 14 client's hair, and I have received $5 in tips.. I guess some people really do think tipping is a city in China.. ha ha.. dumb joke I know. I haven't had any more fatalities of my knuckles.. although anyone that gets cut on the lab floor now comes to me to have me super glue them back together.. so I am the "nurse" now.. I guess I could take that course next.. just kidding.. I really believe that I have found what I love doing the most, and it is hair!

We are learning all the strokes and positions to do a straight razor shave on men.. oh yeah.. So next week I should start doing that.. and then look out Todd you will have to make good on your word to come in and get your shave on.. ha ha.. I am so happy that at least someone in my family trusts me with a razor :)

I wish that I could fall asleep now.. I know that this blog entry was pretty lame.. not even sure if it made sense, but oh well.. I am back to trying to fall asleep now.

Finally cutting real hair.. and loving it..

So tonight was my first night out on the barbering lab floor.. I have to say that I have thought throughout the day of every possible horrible thing that could go wrong.. like what if I jacked up their hair too bad, what if I passed out of lack of oxygen from the anxiety, what if the first hair cut I did lasted for 4 hours?? yeah that guy would have some serious numb bum.. ha ha.. good thing it wasn't like that at all.. Laura at work was right.. when I get past the first client then I would be okay.. and wow.. what a relief.. The first client I cut hair on named Jim or maybe it was Tim, anyways he was interesting to say the least, he had been married 5 times before, and I am pretty sure he was telling me about the night club he goes to, to see if maybe I would meet him there.. oh yeah he was 50 too.. still after that lengthy conversation of waiting for an instructor to check my work.. no tip.. Then I had a 3 year old.. not sure of his name.. he was very cute and sat very still.. My instructor didn't really come to tell me the next step to the short taper cut, so I just went by memory and hoped I wouldn't do too bad.. it must have worked cause he said that I would earn a "punch" for the cut.. meaning I would pass it off as a really good haircut.. I guess one out of three isn't bad right? Then I had the other guy.. I never understood his name once.. even though he repeated it like 3 times.. maybe I need a beltone? ha ha.. I think it was more the language barrier though.. at least that is what I am hoping.. all in all I would say tonight being the first time on the lab floor and cutting 3 mens/child cuts.. I did pretty well.. I didn't pass out.. I didn't cut the client.. although there was the fatality of the index nuckle.. yeah that bled for a while.. I had to super glue it.. not sure how that will turn out.. I will keep you posted.. it's called the "barber's scar/mark" I think all of us newbies got one tonight.. they offically informed us that we need to start bringing our own bandaids... or superglue.. whichever works best.. we probably wiped them out in just this one night.. ha ha.. So needless to say tomorrow on my lunch break I will be buying bandaids, and superglue.. I can't have too many bandaids on.. that might scar the client away you know?? ha ha.. I am loving it though.. was very anxious and nervous.. but I have to say that I am happy to know that I am starting on the barbering side.. that was one of my biggest fears.. and look at me now.. I guess 2009 is the year to no longer fear!! what a logo.. well I will keep whoever it is that reads this up to date.. I am pretty sure that it is more a online journal for me.. but at least I am journaling again..

It's a new year!!! I am so excited to see all the many blessings that I will be given this year, along with all the knowledge that I will contiue to learn as I go to school. I am so happy that I am no longer waiting to start living my life.. when all I had to do was conquer the fear and just go forward with faith.. much easier said than done of course ;) I have had a nice Christmas break, and was able to spend good times with family and friends.. and reconnect with those that it's been awhile.. to say the least.. My life is really good, and I am truly happy.. I have come through the storm.. or maybe I just learned to dance in the rain finally.. not sure which one.. but at this point does it really matter?? Now all I need is to find someone equally passionate about life, and learning to spend my life and love with.. I guess it will all come into place when the time is right.. right?? Anyways I just hope that everyone has a good time over the holidays.. and have an even better year to come..

Much love,

Sherry.